A few years ago when blogging was becoming all the rage, I honestly thought there might be an admonition from the brethren about the dangers of blogging, especially for Latter-day Saint women. I personally could see the danger, and still can. In the day-to-day life of mom's, it is easy to get sucked into reading blog after blog and wondering why your life is not quite like the next. It is easy to waste precious time, focusing time and energy, on the details of others lives, all the while ignoring the details of your own.
But, I was wrong.
In fact, Elder Ballard surprised us all (or at least me) in 2007 when he encouraged blogging as a means to share the gospel. Since then, buttons of "We Believe", or "Learn More About My Faith" have started to adorn blogs directing interested readers to LDS.org. There
Even with Elder Ballard's encouraging words about using the internet in the right way, I am weary. I can see and have felt how easy it is to compare my life, my home, my cooking and my kids to others sharing their life on the internet. I don't think that is what Elder Ballard ever meant or encouraged.
More often than not, when I begin to feel that way, the best thing is for me to step away from the computer for a bit. I usually need to find other things to fill my time and make sure I am doing the essential things.
It's not healthy or productive to compare.
I ran into the above quote a few weeks ago from President Hunter. And, maybe because of my thoughts on the subject, it rang true to me.
Each of our lives are filled with true greatness, it is our challenge to discover (and remember) those great things.
How about you mamas? How do you keep from constantly comparing yourself to those around you? I would love to hear.
And, if you want an additional reading, I posted my favorite excerpt from one of my favorite talks below. Yes it deserves a post all of its own!
14 comments:
Perhaps it's because I'm a bit older, but I'm not worried about how I compare to others anymore. I read blogs and blog myself for sharing ideas. There are times when I see things that I would like to have or do, but I decided a while back that I must be content with the things I've been blessed with. It helps me keep a clearer perspective.
I feel the same way- and even with other electronics too. People today worry so much about how the
outside world views them, and spend so much time trying to impress and connect with anyone who will listen (on Facebook, cell phones, twitter, etc..) But they are forgetting to live life with those around them. What is the point of having family and friends nearby, when you spend all your time trying to connect with everyone else in the world. Sorry, I'm ranting-hahaha
I love your quotes, love your positive blog! I try to only get on to read other blogs or write my own, after my kids go to bed, during "my" time. I know it is sometimes hard to read about other peoples' "perfect" lives, but there are also those reading about us thinking how good we have it too. We are all so different, and have all been blessed in different ways- that is what we should remember. Sorry this is so long ☺
Seeing as how I was one of those such bloggers, I appreciate the President Hunter quote.
I don't know that blogging added to my inadequacies as I have always been very good at "beating myself up". For me I had to learn that it was a way in which I allow Satan power in my life. Especially in the past, when I would struggle with depression.
Thanks again for the quote. If you have the reference I would love to read the talk.
One little saying I learned several years ago and it pops into my memory from time to time: "When we compare ourselves to others, we either become vain or bitter." Obviously, neither are desirable traits. Unfortunately, it is a problem among us...one that I still have to check myself on occasionally. Thanks for the further light and insight on the issue. As we keep ourselves close to the Spirit and remember Heavenly Father's unique love for us, it becomes easier.
I went through a stage 3 years ago where I was reading blogs and feeling bad about myself. Then I decided to snap out of it! Blogs are only pieces of our lives- the pieces we want others to see. I have since never let myself feel inadequate by reading someone else's blog. I have also decided to really focus on my own talents and life outside of the internet world. I try to limit my time on the computer to about an hour a day. I now find that I am motivated and inspired by others instead of jealous, but it took realizing that it was causing me unhappiness when I compared myself to others.
I love this dialogue.
Like many things in the gospel, moderation is a word that comes to mind when considering the subject of blogging. We can't forget that the Adversary wants to "call evil good and good evil." As you pointed out, Elder Ballard said blogging can be used for much good.
I started blogging in 2007 and I have noticed a direct correlation between those feelings of inadequacy and recognizing when I am neglecting many of my responsibilities as a wife, mother and disciple of Christ. When I start to feel that way I know that it is time to take a step back and reevaluate my priorities. It is rarely about someone else and their accomplishments. It's a personal process that demands relying on the spirit to help me navigate my feelings and impressions...we have the gift of the Holy Ghost for challenges like this. It's up to us to use it and then incorporate those teachings into our lives so we can be happier.
Love your blog! Thanks
I stop following blogs that are unrealistic or make me feel bad. Simple as that! Also, blogs that are always about THINGS... I don't need to want more things :)
Thanks for sharing that quote by President Hunter. What a great reminder. Thanks again for posting meaningful things that we can all relate to :)
I like reading other peoples blogs because they are my friends and family or I can learn from them. I actually don't compare myself too much. I just know I am dumb in a lot of ways, but with 8 kids I am too busy to care.
I admit I have gotten caught up in the blogger comparisons. I've read things that other husbands do and thought to myself Ben doesn't do that and he never would! It was not good for our marriage. I definitely had to have an attitude and perpective adjustment since that time. Other things (like crafting ability, organization, well behaved children, whatever) don't make me jealous or depressed (oh except your weather and that is about to increase by about 100!), ha ha. I don't think it is just a blog thing though, we can get caught up in that kind of stuff even just in coversations with friends and such. Satan will find any way to try to make us feel inadequate, whether we are blog readers or not.
Honestly, if I ever start feeling bad about myself because of a certain blog I just don't read it. There are so many creative/inspiring people out there and the one's that I read are just that and don't let me get down on myself.
Love your blog Erin.
funny but I just came from a blog from one of those "perfect mothers" Seriously!! I die at how she can do it "all" and still post about it! (oh, all with 6 kids) But then I have to remember...she only posts pictures of a perfect, clean home, perfect FHE, perfect meals, her childrens AMAZING accomplishments etc. You have to remember, we all would look super AWESOME if we documented all the wonderful things we do! The clean kitchen at the beginning of the day. The super great things our children do. The parenting techniques that work on a perfect day. Even our favorite lessons and recipes!! We are all amazing in our own ways, even if we don't have time to blog about them! I am just grateful for blogs from women of our faith that take the time to inspire me and remind me of the goodness in the world! Thanks to you for your time and efforts, and for all your "perfect" days:)
i have thought so much about this lately, to the point that I have to keep forcing myself to stop checking certain blogs, because they appear to have the perfect life. I have my own blog and of course I only post about the fun things I do or create. I don't really feature the house after the kids destroy it in an hour or my depression. So i keep trying to remind myself that others are most likely in similar situations but surprisingly it is hard. I found that cutting back on checking the blogs has helped most.
I feel exactly the same way!!! thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
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